25 abr. 2010

Mini Poetical Tragedy

A letter. Sometimes things can't be said simply. Sometimes they don't want to be.

When did the curtain rise?
I always saw it in your eyes.
Always, always, in your eyes.
I flew, I flowed, I laughed and loved
And became Fear to your Desire
As you feared your own desire
And the curtain got thicker and
Your eyes less bright.

Your name is Fear.
I am Desire.
My name is Lotus.
I do cry to clean.
I do sigh to mean…
I always wanted to transform your pain.
Do not howl but smile at the moon.
I always wanted to believe
You were Lotus too…
Believe, Believe, Believe!
If you and I believe
We believe!
We be alive… we live.
And your surprise… the Oh!
The O of love.
You love, I live.
(My “I” in live)

Hello Desire.
My name is Fear.
I knew one day that it would come to this.
The yin gone yang,
The pointed spears turned round.
All that I believed came true,
You didn’t let me
The curtain came down.
You believe! Did I somehow
Make a change in you?
You made a change in me.
Did you make me me and
I you you?
Not in the same way.
I stayed. You roared.
I stayed.
You did not make me believe.
You made me doubt.
I stayed.
Will you stay?

“I love you more than I can say”
And do?
You did, and never these petals were so tenderly devoured.
And did you love love?
For you it is a battle and for me as
Well I tried and asked the mirrors what to
Do I love or need or want to keep on changing you?
We could never do the same things to each other.
It would have, could have been a beautiful story.
I like to think it still is.
We are friends.
Ends? I don’t know.
I don’t know what ends and what begins.
Look at all the question marks!
Now who is doubt and who desire?
These last days I’ve felt a weight on all my soul
A nausea against myself…
It was not only you who changed
It was we who reverted roles.
It was we…
All so... unnatural!

Natural to be Wolf and Lotus
Natural to hug to laugh
To argue to art
There is a bond
All so, All ways.
It has been we
We who lie and who betray
And guilt.. both ways!
In the way…
So many things in the way of
So many things
So many so so sorry’s…
But there is a bond.
We are both fear and desire.
We both desire things were different.
I desire you were different…
We both fear the future.
I fear you…
We both fear each other.
Leave like that?
You laugh… a killing joke!
To leave it at nothing?
But that is life!

Nothing… no thing
No plans
No turning back.
Only vague promises…
Only belief
Only favors for favors for
Flavors of happiness.
Selfish me, selfish you
Swimming down the same river
And begging each other
To please please please…

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